In a few days I will be leaving San Francisco, my home for the past 3 years. This is the place I became a writer; the place that helped me birth this blog, which led to my other more successful blogs. This is the place that gave me a novella in progress, and a novel that is progressing but far more slowly and deliberately than the novella. This is a special place. I’ve felt it’s energy more times than I can remember. Though I’ve also been weighed down by that energy at times, the way it intertwined with my own.
But it’s time to move on. I feel like I’ve taken what I can from this city, and it’s time to go try something new. I have a tiny bit of pre-regret about the decision, but I am certain it’s the right one. Where I go from here is up to the unseen forces of my existence that have kept me on my toes to this point, and not always in a good way.
I’ve lived a rather chaotic life; I’ve been in trouble with the law, been in some pretty wild situations, and I’ve engaged in my share of reckless behavior. And in keeping with the quote by Nietzsche that there must be chaos with oneself to give birth to a dancing star, I’ve done my share of dancing as well. I am here now equipped with these thoughts and experiences that culminate in who I am at this very moment and will help shape who I become tomorrow and beyond. I can say right now with confidence that as uncertain as the future is, I am ready to dive in head first.
A trip to the vast wilderness of Yosemite will be my last stop before I head east for a brief stay before a trip to Ecuador to decide if that will be my next major stop in this adventure I have insisted on forging out of my existence. But in truth I just don’t know.
I am faced with the certainty of uncertainty and there is no other position I would rather find myself in at this moment.
“Sometimes I feel
The need to move on
So I pack a bag
And move on
– David Bowie