So I was sitting there, enjoying my coffee, reading a book, when the person to my right got up from his seat on the long bench against the back wall at which I too was sitting, and he exited the cafe; I continued to sip on my coffee and read.

I wasn’t really paying attention to the 3 people who walked in, as I was engrossed in the book, but I noticed, after about a minute, that they were trying to figure out how to configure seating arrangements for a larger group that was about to arrive.

This is a small cafe, and in front of the long bench residing against the wall, there are four rectangular tables, each with one chair. I was sitting on the bench at the the 3rd farthest table from them, and as the table to my right was empty, they could have easily asked me to move to my right, alleviating the baffling geometric conundrum before them.

For a few seconds I observed their mutually occurring insistence on ignoring the elephant in the room or, rather, the guy on the bench.

So I, being the brave hero that I am, actually dared speak to other human beings and offer to move to my right. I know, I know, I am a regular fucking Gandhi.

So I’m envisioning this future, where, utilizing whatever device, or wearable, or whatever, such terrified souls will simply be able to send me a message, or something, asking me to move, and I will then move to my right, completely avoiding actual human interaction.

The rest of their party arrived, and the meeting commenced; some kind of Christian theater group, or a church putting on a play, maybe, I don’t know. I really don’t care.

I sure as shit won’t be seeing it.

But, why did they not simply ask me to move?

Why Did Those People Not Ask Me To Move At The Cafe?

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